Relationships and heartbreaks

Heartbreak is not just about romance - it’s about how we handle expectations and change. And not all heartbreak comes from lost love - sometimes it’s the weight of expectations and the reality of change.

Care because it feels right, not because you expect the same back.
Hold on to yourself first, because everything else will shift with time.

 

Two simple rules can save you a lot of pain:

1. Care without expecting the same in return.

2. Remember that nothing external lasts forever, so build your strength within.

These apply not only to relationships, but to many areas of life in general.

1. Do not expect things back.
It is natural to put effort into something, but the recipient (whether a person or even a situation) may not return the same in response. This can cause disappointment. Care for someone because you genuinely care, not because you expect them to return the same feelings. Every person is an independent individual, and it is natural that they may or may not feel the same way.

2. Even if you do get the same care back, remember that nothing materialistic or external is permanent.
It may fade with time, whether slowly or suddenly. The only constant in life is yourself, so self-care and self-respect are essential. Give time to yourself first. If, at some point, giving time to another person feels as natural and beneficial as giving time to yourself, and they feel the same way, then it might be worth having deeper conversations about the relationship. Until then, it is best to keep things in a space of healthy friendship, without letting infatuation cloud your judgment.

Additional thought:
It is best not to take romantic movies as a perfect guide for real life. Films often end at the high point of a relationship, showing love as a victory, but rarely reveal the challenges and adjustments that come afterward. Real life is more complex. It is like watching a cooking show: the recipe looks perfect on screen, but in your own kitchen, results can vary. Keep your expectations natural and aligned with who you are, and you will be more open to discovering the real magic life has to offer.

Chakra of life

Imagine our life as a chakra or a spinning wheel with a pointing arrow rotating freely, but your will has the control its rotation. Imagine for each of our life's situation there is this chakra and for a decision made the chakra then linearly moves along that direction to the next question or decision problem based on your selection. Since its freely moving anyways, if you let it freely move (without putting your will into the wheel), naturally it will select the best decision and then move accordingly, is what I think at this moment.
There is no right or wrong. Sometimes the optimum we feel might align with the global optimum the nature has found for us at that moment, sometimes it may not. And it is not guaranteed also that the chakra will flow on its own forever. Sometimes mild push or input might also work well. But pushing it further might overshoot/overlook the things which were actually best for you at that moment.

So, in a nutshell out life decisions can be modelled as a chakra with combined rotary and linear motion.